A Night Out
by doesitweighmorethanaduck
Summary: Polyamory may be no big deal in space, but that doesn't mean the feelings Miles and Julian are starting to discover they have for each other aren't complicated... (This is probably going to have a sequel at some point in the near future)


It was a strange case with Miles and Julian. Miles already had his wife, Keiko, and Julian had his "friend" who was very clearly more than just a friend, mister Garak. But there was no denying that Miles and Julian had something going on between them. It was obvious to most of DS9's crew long before they realized it themselves- from the way they played racquetball and darts together, to the way they would role-play in the holosuites, to that night when they'd both gotten drunk and Miles had (sort of) confessed his feelings- not in so many words, of course, but saying "people either love you or they hate you" and then going on to say that "I really do… not hate you anymore" didn't leave much room for interpretation.

They were sharing a drink at Quark's and watching all the couples coming and going when it first came up between them. Julian was feeling down because Garak had stood him up, saying something about a very demanding customer. Julian suspected it actually had something to do with the Obsidian Order, but he'd practically given up on getting the real truth out of his reptilian boyfriend at this point.

"Well, I know I'm no substitute for your friend Garak, but I hope we can still have a good night out together," Miles had said. "I've got a new holosuite program we can try out. Or we could play darts."

"Sorry, Chief, I know you'd like to spend some time in the holosuite, but Garak and I had a table reserved," the young doctor had sighed. "I'd already paid for the reservation, and we both know Quark won't give me my money back."

"Huh," Miles had grunted. "Well, I suppose sharing a drink together would be nice. You know, it's kind of funny," he'd added. "While Keiko was off the station, I played racquetball with you instead. Now, when your, uh, 'friend' stands you up, I get to take his place for you."

Julian hadn't thought of it in that way, but now that the Chief had brought it up he suddenly felt kind of embarrassed. He and Miles certainly did spend a lot of time together, but they were just friends, right?

It was common for the two of them to act out intricate fantasies involving action, crime, and drama. But simply sitting down and drinking together wasn't something they'd done in a while. Julian remembered when he'd first come aboard the station. He'd fancied himself quite a ladies' man. But he seemed to be spending a lot more time with men than ladies- not that he minded, since it hadn't taken long upon meeting Garak that he wasn't exactly straight. He was sometimes irritated that the Cardassian tailor refused to let their relationship go public. Everybody knew, he insisted. And even on the off-chance that there was some alien race passing through the wormhole that _didn't_ know the true nature of the relationship yet, did it really matter?

As he sat down with Miles, he could tell that his thoughts had made their way into his face. He could pretend that he was daydreaming about Jadzia, but his infatuation with her had ended long ago. There wasn't much point in lying.

"You're thinking about Elim." Miles leaned forward and laid his hand on top of Julian's. "Hey, just forget about him for tonight, all right? You're with me right now, and I want you to enjoy yourself."

Julian smiled even though he didn't really feel happy. He squeezed Miles' hand.

"Don't worry, I'll do my best to brighten up."

A Ferengi waiter came over to their table. Julian ordered a raktajino; Miles ordered a cup of tea. They waited for their drinks and made conversation, trying their best to make this an ordinary evening together and not a date.

"I had to replace an old plasma manifold today," Miles was saying. "It ate up most of my afternoon. I was planning to spend some time here earlier, but I didn't have the time."

"Well, at least you get the chance now," Julian said, leaning back in his chair and stretching his neck.

"That's true."

"You know, I had the most difficult patient today." Julian didn't really want to shift the conversation to himself, but plasma manifolds weren't really his topic of interest. "They were from a telepathic species, and they kept projecting their symptoms onto my other patients. I eventually had to put it under quarantine until I could cure it."

"Did everything work out all right?"

"Yes! Fortunately, the symptoms it projected onto my other patients didn't actually make them get sick, it only made them think they were." Julian tapped the side of his head, still feeling pretty smart for having figured it out. "I gave them all placebos and sent them away. They're all doing fine now."

"That's good." Miles looked distracted. He kept glancing over Julian's shoulder.

Julian turned around to see what Miles was staring at. He didn't see anything out of the ordinary; his companion seemed to be observing a couple of random ensigns out on a date. They were both human, and they weren't talking about anything too interesting, so Julian didn't quite understand why Miles was so fixated by them.

"Look at those two," Miles sighed, pointing to the couple. "They're so young and happy. They still have their whole lives ahead of them."

"Miles…" Julian suspected something was wrong. "You're not having troubles with Keiko again, are you?"

"What? No," he answered, as though he were surprised anyone would even think that. "We're very happy together. It's just that sometimes I feel like… I want to love somebody else too. I mean, I want to stay married to Keiko, but at the same time I want to be dating somebody else. Does that make any sense?"

"Actually, it's not uncommon," Julian informed him. "Races like the Denobulans have multiple spouses. In fact, one of the greatest figures in Starfleet history, James Kirk, was in a polyamorous relationship with his first officer and chief medical officer. It was Starfleet's first official triple marriage."

"Really? I never knew that." Miles looked relieved that his feelings weren't unusual. "Then again, I never was a history expert myself."

The Ferengi waiter was back at their table with their drinks. Miles picked up his tea and blew on it to cool it down, but didn't take a sip yet.

The couple he'd been watching was getting up and leaving. The boy put his arm around the girl and they walked out of the bar together- presumably he was taking her back to his quarters. It had been a while since Julian had gone out with a woman. His lunch dates with Elim were great, but the pretense of it only being friendship made it sometimes seem like just that- two friends with no romantic connection. There was a lot of flirting, but they never kissed, and they never said "I love you" in so many words. Then again, even if Elim did say he loved Julian, it wouldn't mean it was the truth. In fact, it would probably mean it was a lie.

It wasn't so much that Julian wanted to make his relationship with Elim more physical, either. He was happy with him. It was more like what Miles had said- he wanted to have another relationship at the same time. But he didn't think that Elim would be as understanding of him as he had been of Miles. He might perceive it as disloyalty or cheating, even though that was the opposite of what Julian wanted.

The young doctor took a sip of his raktajino. There were a lot of couples at Quark's tonight, he noticed. There was also at least one pair of individuals who didn't consider themselves a couple, but had undeniable sexual tension between them. Julian focused on the non-couple in question, wondering what potential offspring from them might look like. If they had the properties of their potential father, they could look like anything they wanted, he supposed.

Sure, they were arguing now, but things could change between two people at any time. Why, for all Julian knew, they could announce their engagement tomorrow. Either way, it was clear that they cared very much for one another, even if they didn't want to admit it.

"Julian, why are you watching constable Odo interrogate Quark?" Miles asked. "And why do you have such a dreamy look in your eyes?"

Julian's face flushed with embarrassment. He had always thought that their relationship was more than they claimed it was, but he knew the rest of the crew didn't exactly see it the same way.

"Er, I was just thinking about how some things really never change around here," he said quickly- it wasn't exactly a lie, as that had been part of what he'd been thinking about. "For instance, those two- you can always count on them to be bickering about one thing or another. We're a lot like them in a way, too, you know."

"How do you figure that?" Miles inquired. "I mean, we spend a lot of time together, but wouldn't you and Garak be a better example, since you've been friends with him for longer?"

"Oh, Miles, I can't even pretend we're just friends anymore," Julian sighed. "I love Elim, I really do. But I can't trust him. I never could, and I'll never be able to really believe anything he tell me. I want to keep seeing him, but you're just… what I need sometimes. I can trust you to tell me the truth, and say what you mean."

"I understand," Miles agreed, nodding thoughtfully. "Trust is an important part of any relationship, after all. Keiko and I have our rough spots, but we trust each other, and because of that love always wins in the end- not that our relationship is anything like my relationship to my wife," he added quickly.

"Right; it's a different kind of relationship." Despite his words, Julian felt his cheeks growing hot. He took another sip of his raktajino, trying not to appear flustered.

Miles reached across the table and gently tilted Julian's chin up.

"I'm no fool, Julian. I know you're still thinking about what I said about a… what was the word you used? …A poly-something relationship?"

"Polyamorous," Julian reminded him. "And yes," he admitted, "I was still thinking about that."

"Now, the question is," Miles continued in a joking tone, although Julian couldn't tell whether or not he was really joking, "is this a date?"

It probably was, now that Julian thought about it. But he wouldn't say that out loud. What if his feelings weren't reciprocated? Then again, it had been Miles who'd asked, so maybe…

"I think it is."

"Good." Julian was surprised by Miles leaning forward and grabbing his hand. "That means I get to do this."

He kissed him. It was a brief kiss, but it was the first time that Julian had kissed or been kissed by a man. It seemed odd, seeing as how he'd been dating Elim for years, but the two of them had never kissed. They'd never even hugged, or done anything else that regular couples did.

Miles, fortunately, wasn't like Elim. He might not be as good at flirting, but he was a decent kisser. He broke away fast, though, bringing his hand up to his lips as though he couldn't quite believe what he'd done. His pasty complexion was accented by brightly flushed cheeks.

"I-I'm sorry, Julian." He pushed his chair back form the table and stood up, brushing off his uniform awkwardly. "I don't know what came over me. I didn't mean to…"

"Miles." Julian grabbed his friend's arm. "It's fine. Besides," he added with a mischievous grin, "I kind of liked it."

"Oh." Miles had clearly not been expecting that response. He sat back down, glancing around as if to make sure nobody had seen them kiss. "Well, in that case, maybe we should talk some more about our relationship. It wouldn't seem right to go on being friends after this, would it?"

Julian supposed he was right, but assigning labels to relationships wasn't something he was big on. Having an open relationship that could take on many forms was something that appealed to him greatly, and he had hoped that it would be the kind he could have with Miles. But if going out with the Chief meant moving on from friends to something else, even if that something else was objectively "more", maybe it would be better if they just pretended nothing happened.

Julian was almost glad when he received an urgent message on his comm badge, forcing him out of the situation at hand in a way that didn't require him to confront it head-on, which he wasn't really sure how to do. He knew how to handle a patient in need far better than he knew how to handle a social situation, especially one that was taking such a complicated turn.

"Bashir to infirmary!" It was the urgent voice of one of his nurses. "There's a medical emergency!"

He tapped his comm badge to reply.

"I'm on my way." He stood up and ran off to sickbay, leaving a worried-looking Miles with an empty chair across from him and an untouched cup of tea.

Upon getting to sickbay and quickly snapping on a pair of medical gloves, he took a look at the patient. His eyes widened when he saw who it was.

"He beamed back aboard the station with a knife in his back," the nurse told him. "He said something about letting his guard down before passing out…"

Julian grimaced. It seemed as though Garak had gotten himself into trouble again.

Miles couldn't blame Julian for running off- in fact, it would have been awful or the doctor not to have. He'd heard the nurse; there was a medical emergency. But it had been the context of where and when it had happened that bothered him. Why did something always have to come up just when they were about to discuss their relationship?

It had actually happened once before, he remembered. They'd been having fun on the holosuite when something had malfunctioned, and the woman that was supposed to appear for Julian to kiss didn't appear when she was supposed to.

"Well, I suppose you can always kiss me instead," Miles had joked.

To his surprise, Julian had actually seemed to be considering taking him up on his offer. Maybe it was just wishful thinking on Miles' part, though, since he'd sort of laughed, as though he wasn't sure if it was a joke or not.

"Should we kiss?" Julian had suddenly asked as the program was ending, his face suddenly serious. "I mean, we've known each other a long time… would it be right?"

The two men sort of leaned in curiously toward each other, their brows furrowing. Miles had rationalized it at the time as not really counting, whatever that was supposed to mean, since they were pretending to be characters in a holosuite program. Of course, their characters in the program weren't supposed to kiss, but it was the best excuse he had for kissing his friend.

When he heard the comm badge noise, Miles had thought for a split-second that he'd accidentally tapped Julian's comm badge. But it turned out that it was actually a medical emergency on the promenade. They were forced to pull away either an instant before or an instant after their lips touched- Miles had never really been sure. One thing was certain, though: they hadn't brought it up since.

He didn't want this night to disappear from their conversations forever like the first instance had. He wanted Julian to be able to tend to his patient, cure them or whatever, and then come back to the table and finish his drink. But while he didn't know much about the field of medicine, he didn't think something that could be classified as a medical emergency would be solved within a couple hours. He might as well just return to his quarters now. It would be a shame to let his tea go to waste, though. He'd just drink it quickly and then go back to his quarters to give his loving wife the attention she deserved.

"So, what was _that_ all about?"

Miles groaned. Quark was leaning up against the table, sticking his nose into other people's business yet again.

"Go away, Quark," he grumbled. "This doesn't concern you."

"No, it doesn't concern me…" the Ferengi bartender agreed, his eyes narrowing, "but I think Keiko might be interested in hearing about this. It's not every day that you see a married man kissing his best friend, after all. I could be convinced to withhold the information from her, of course… for a price."

"I'm not interested," Miles insisted. "Keiko would understand. It's not cheating; it's- what was the word Julian used again- polyamory."

"Mm-hmm." Quark nodded, not looking quite convinced. "Well, if you're sure it won't bother her, I'm just going to let Keiko know about this- for her own good, of course. The poor woman deserves to know that her husband's been seeing the chief medical officer."

"Go ahead, then, tell her," Miles said, waving his hand to try to shoo Quark away. "In fact, don't even bother telling her, I'll tell her myself. No, really, I will. Now go!"

He pushed away from the table and began to walk away to show he really meant it. Keiko _would_ understand, after all, wouldn't she? She'd said herself a few times how pretty Kira was, so this wasn't any worse than that, was it?

On his way to his and Keiko's quarters, he passed by sickbay. For a moment he fancied the idea of strolling through the doors and kissing Julian again, but he dismissed the idea quickly enough. It would be childish and irresponsible, and it could endanger the wellbeing of Julian's patient. Still, maybe he could just peek through the doors…

No, he decided. It would be best to head straight back to his quarters. He didn't want to bother Julian; he'd wait for the doctor to seek him out if and when he wanted to talk about their relationship.

As he walked through the doors to his quarters, Keiko greeted him from the couch, where she was relaxing while Molly played in the next room over. Complicated relationship with Julian or not, Miles would always love his wife. He gave her a quick kiss and sat down next to her.

"Were you playing darts with Bashir again?" she asked- not accusingly, he noted with relief. He'd been worried that Quark had gone ahead and told her about the kiss anyway.

"Actually, we just got a couple of drinks and talked for a bit," he admitted. "You know I love you, but it's always nice to unwind with a friend and talk about our days."

"I can relate," Keiko agreed. "Unfortunately, being a schoolteacher and a mother doesn't leave you with much free time."

"Which reminds me, how was your day?"

"Oh, it was nothing out of the ordinary," she said. "Although… I could have sworn I saw Jake and Nog holding hands on their way to class this morning."

"Well, that doesn't surprise me much- I always saw it as just a matter of time before they went from friends to more."

"It certainly is surprising, though. There was enough of a fuss over them being friends; who knows how Sisko will react to his son dating a Ferengi."

"Two men can be friends for a long time and think it's just a friendship," Miles went on, not talking about Jake and Nog so much as about him and Julian. "But then something will happen and you're suddenly in love with them- either that or you've been in love the whole time and just not realized it yet. By that point, you might already be in a committed relationship with somebody else that you don't want to end, but you might want to love the other person at the same time."

"Miles, you're talking about yourself, aren't you?"

"What gave you that idea, dear? I was just talking about how sometimes two men who are friends will-"

"It's Julian, isn't it?" Keiko wasn't angry; in fact, she looked surprisingly happy. "Miles, we can have a healthy and open relationship with multiple people if we want. If you think you're in love with him, you should tell him."

"But he just seems so… clueless," Miles sighed. "Back before I started liking him, I hated him. But he never had any idea that I did! Those were some of the most aggravating times I'd had on this station. But I guess if he'd caught on to the fact I hated him back then, we wouldn't have kept spending time together… and I wouldn't be in love with him now."

"What are you talking about?" Molly blinked up at them, wide-eyed, from around the corner at the door to her room.

Keiko went over to the little girl and picked her up, carrying over to the couch and sitting her down.

"We were just talking about Daddy's friend Julian, sweetie."

Miles wondered if he ought to tell his daughter about how he was beginning to feel about his friend. Of course the little girl didn't need to be aware of all the complicated dynamics of the situation, but what if their relationship began to escalate into something more serious? She'd deserve to know something about what was going on.

He was getting ahead of himself, of course. Despite all the talk about open relationships with more than one person at once, Miles wasn't sure if Julian would be worth changing his whole lifestyle for. Even if he could have both a wife and a husband, giving Julian more attention would take away from the time he could spend with Keiko.

"Daddy, do you like uncle Julian?" Molly asked innocently; she'd started referring to the doctor as "uncle" a few weeks ago, and she didn't seem intent on stopping. "You used to not like him because he talked too much, but now you're always talking about him like you like him."

"Well, what can I say, sweetie?" Miles lifted Molly up onto his knee. "That kind of unique charm can really grow on you after a while."

"Does that mean you think uncle Julian is charming?" Molly wrinkled her nose and giggled. "That's weird!"

"I would have said the same thing a couple years ago," Miles admitted.

"So, who do you like better: uncle Julian or Mommy?"

The question caught Miles off-guard. Of course he loved Keiko more than anything; he'd married her, after all. And the day he had had been the happiest day of his life. But at the same time, could he really claim to prefer the company of one to that of another?

Fortunately, Keiko saved him from having to answer.

"I think it's time for you to go to bed, sweetie." She shot a knowing glance at Miles. "You've asked Daddy enough questions for tonight."

Miles and Keiko tucked Molly in and said goodnight. Then they went back out to the living room to talk some more. It wasn't until Miles was starting to feel like going to bed himself that his comm badge vibrated from where he had set it on the coffee table.

"Hey, Miles." It was Julian; he sounded tired. "I hope you're not still at Quark's waiting on me."

Miles quickly leaned over and tapped the comm badge.

"Don't worry Julian, I went back to my quarters as soon as you got called to sickbay," he replied. "…I take it you've got your hands full down there."

"I've managed to stabilize the patient's vitals, but they're still in critical condition," Julian confirmed. "I'm going to perform surgery on them now; it's probably going to take a few hours."

"I hope everything goes okay."

"Me too, Miles." Julian was always very empathetic, but this time he sounded concerned for the patient's life on a personal level. "I hope so too."

Julian shuffled into his quarters at o-seven-hundred hours and flopped into his bed, exhausted. The surgery had taken all night, and there had been a couple of times when he had been sure he was about to lose the patient. Those moments were always terrifying, of course, but having the life of his beloved Garak in his hands…

He gave himself a slap on the cheek. _Elim is going to be fine_ , he reminded himself. There was no use worrying now; the reptilian man's life signs were stable, and one of his nurses was keeping an eye on him just in case so Julian could get some rest.

Going out for drinks with a friend seemed so insignificant after such a scare. Of course, it had been more than drinks with a friend. It may have even been with more than just a friend. But that was something he could think about another time, when his lover wasn't critically injured.

Julian closed his eyes, and fell asleep quickly despite his troubled mind. While he slept, he dreamed that he was playing darts with Miles. In his dream, none of the darts seemed to hit the target.

 _"I'm sorry; I don't know why I'm doing so badly." Julian glanced apologetically at his friend. "It must be an off day."_

 _"You just need to concentrate on the dart," Miles instructed him. "Think about where you want it to land."_

 _Julian nodded. He moved his arm back, trying to focus on the dartboard. But he couldn't seem to see it. Well, if they were standing here to play darts, it must have been right in front of him, right? Julian threw the dart, closing his eyes and hoping he'd get lucky this time._

Thwack!

 _He opened his eyes and gasped. Garak was standing in front of him, a thin trickle of blood coming from the spot in his forehead where a small red dart was lodged._

 _"Good shot," Miles said, giving Julian a pat on the shoulder._

Julian sat upright in his bed, sweat dripping down his face. Shaken from the nightmare, he squeezed Kukalaka tightly to his chest.

"Computer, what time is it?" he asked once the teddy bear's reassuring scent and texture had calmed him down a bit.

"The time is 13:00," the computer voice answered.

Julian groaned. He'd slept so late! At least he didn't need to worry about getting dressed; after coming back from the medical bay last night, he'd slept in his uniform. He hadn't even taken his comm badge off.

"Bashir to sickbay," he said, tapping his comm badge. "Is everything okay down there?"

"Doctor! Yes, everything is fine," the nurse answered happily. "In fact, it looks like it's shaping up to be a slow day. We've only gotten two patients all day so far, and neither of their conditions were serious."

"How about Garak?"

"No changes; he's just the way you left him."

Julian sighed, relieved that his dear friend and love was no longer in any immediate danger. Of course, things could still go either way at this point, but it never hurt to be optimistic. Of course, Garak himself didn't exactly agree with Julian's optimistic outlook on life, but he couldn't change who he was, even for someone he loved.

Since his medical staff was apparently doing fine without him, Julian took his time, sipping his replicated coffee while catching up on station logs on his PADD. He chuckled when he read about one of Quark's schemes going wrong. _Don't they always?_ He thought to himself.

Maybe Miles was available.

"Bashir to O'Brien- can you meet me in holosuite three?"

"Julian?" The chief engineer's voice was raised, probably to make it audible over the sounds of sparks flying in the background. "What is it? I'm kind of busy right now."

"Sorry, chief, it's nothing." Julian was disappointed, but it made sense. Living on a station like this meant that things were bound to go wrong from time to time. Being a chief engineer was a busy job- as was being a chief medical officer.

On the days they took time off, the two men would meet at Quark's and unwind. Those were some good times. In fact, Julian had joked once that he'd rather be with Miles than out on a date. Now he wondered if that was actually true. He was very much attracted to women, but men held a certain appeal to Julian that made him want to get to know as much as he could about them.

Well, since he hadn't taken any time off today, he might as well head down to sickbay. He passed by the replimat where he and Garak usually ate lunch on the way there. They had been eating together less often lately, and spending less time together in general. Julian had tried to ask if anything was wrong, and of course he'd gotten at least twenty different answers, all of which, of course, were true.

But while "especially the lies" was mysterious and seductive, sometimes Julian wished he could have a more honest relationship. If things between him and Elim were falling apart, it would be the perfect excuse to spend even more time with Miles.

For a moment, Julian imagined ending things altogether with the shady reptilian man, and then running into Miles' quarters, tears streaming down his face. Miles would let him fall into his arms and hold him. He'd whisper "I'm sorry it had to end like that" and then they'd kiss. And this time Julian wouldn't let Miles go, even if he was called to sickbay or to ops or to anywhere other than next to his true love.

But the fantasy was impractical, and it wasn't even what Julian wanted- not really. He might be falling in love with Miles, but he also loved his job, and he intended to keep it. Neglecting his duties wouldn't be the best way to accomplish that. And he loved Elim, too. It was frustrating to love a man like that, but love was often frustrating to Julian, since he generally wasn't very good at it.

His staff seemed surprised to see him when he walked into sickbay.

"I thought you were taking the day off," a young male nurse said. "But since you're here, I suppose you'd like to check on your friend."

The nurse gestured to Garak, who was still unconscious on a cot. Julian couldn't help but notice that he had restraints on, and somebody put up a force field around him, even though nobody had reported any violent behavior. It made sense that they wouldn't entirely trust Garak, but it still irritated Julian a bit. Most of his staff didn't know that Garak was anything other than a simple tailor, so they must have taken these precautions just because he was a Cardassian.

Julian sat down next to his unconscious lover, regarding his face. Even in repose, Elim never exactly looked peaceful. He wouldn't let his guard down enough to let even Julian so much as hold his hand in public. It was the 24th century; no one should care that two men were in an intimate relationship together. But Cardassian society was different from the progressive Federation. That was why Elim had insisted that their relationship should be kept as anything but intimate. The sexual tension between them was obvious even to strangers, but it had never been anything more than tension. And Julian hated that, but he to respect his lover's wishes.

"I love you," Julian whispered, wondering if Elim could hear him.

The warp core thrummed loudly, the plasma inside strobing. All around it, circuits and conduits were torn out, and sparks were flying everywhere. A bug had gotten into the computer system somehow that had caused computer terminals to explode. Miles and his crew had managed to confine it to engineering, but they had yet to figure out a way to actually solve the problem.

"Maybe if we reprogram the main plasma conductors we can flood the system," one ensign had suggested.

"What if we re-pulverized the secondary manifolds?" another offered.

But nothing seemed to be working. Sweat dripped down Miles' face as he tinkered with a circuitboard- the room was beginning to heat up. If they didn't get this under control soon, they may end up with a warp core breach on their hands.

The source of the issue seemed to be that the bug would flood the computer with unnecessary data, causing the system to overheat, resulting in exploding terminals. The main computer processor didn't seem to be affected, which was how they'd managed to confine the bug to a single room. But what to do from there?

Miles felt like he'd solved a problem like this before, but he couldn't remember how. He didn't normally let his personal life distract him, but he couldn't seem to get Julian off his mind. There had been no follow-up conversation to the kiss yet; what would happen to their relationship now was still a mystery. And that mystery was distracting Miles from the other, more pressing question of how to prevent the computer from continuing to heat up.

Suddenly the circuitboard began to glow. Miles ducked as a shower of sparks flew out of it. A few of the sparks made contact with his skin; he winced in pain. He needed to be more careful.

Shielding his face, Miles looked at the circuitboard. Sparks were flying from the wiring. He would have to use a different terminal. But for now, he just had to make sure that the circuitboard wouldn't trigger a chain of larger-scale explosions- it was still heating up, and beginning to make a whirring sound. As the whirring grew louder, Miles noticed ensign Birch, who had just been transferred to the station a few weeks ago and was showing a lot of promise so far, standing behind him with a PADD in his hand.

"I think I've found a solution, Sir," Birch was saying. "If we shut down the central processors, the computer should cool down on its own. We can figure out how to get rid of the bug from there."

Miles blinked. It was such an obvious solution. How had it not occurred to him earlier?! It was because of that damn kiss. Why couldn't he get it off his mind? It was affecting his work.

"Th-that's a good idea, ensign," he said, trying not to let his embarrassment show. "Computer, disengage the central processing systems."

With a series of beeps, all the lights in the engineering room turned off. The warp core stopped thrumming, and the rooms stopped heating up. But just before the terminal that Miles had been working on stopped whirring, the wires started glowing brightly. Miles saw what was about to happen, and instantly pushed ensign Birch away as a flurry of sparks burst from the circuitboard.

The heat and impact from the blast made Miles' head spin. Lights danced in front of his eyes and he passed out.

Miles woke up in sickbay, lying on a medical bed. Julian was standing over him. The young doctor's face lit up when he saw him.

"You're awake," he sighed. "Don't worry, chief, you're going to be just fine. Ensign Birch told me you saved him."

"I guess I did," Miles said. "…Say, Julian, about last night-"

"That's not important right now," Julian said quickly. "You can go back to work whenever you want. You have a few second-degree burns, but I can fix those quickly enough. There's no real damage."

"Not like your other boyfriend, then," Miles said half-jokingly. Julian stiffened. He glanced over his shoulder at Garak, who had apparently been injured by a stab wound while off the station. When Julian turned back to Miles, he looked angry.

"That's not a very professional thing for you to say, Miles. I'm disappointed in you," he said icily. "You know perfectly well that my personal relations to my patients are irrelevant to me as a doctor- and they shouldn't affect you, either."

Julian's anger was understandable. Miles had spoken out of line, and he regretted it already. He was right, too; it was none of Miles' business who Julian loved. And while the two men might enjoy spending time together when they had time off, when they were on duty they had to act like responsible Starfleet officers, which meant they shouldn't let their personal lives distract them.

Still, it seemed odd that Julian was avoiding Miles' question.

"Look, Julian, I don't know what you want our relationship to be now." Miles spoke firmly now, propping himself up and looking his friend in the eyes. "But you can't dance around the issue. Never giving a straight answer might be how you do things with Garak, but I'm not him. Now, talk to me."

"Miles, I have to take care of my other patients." Julian looked toward the medbay doors, biting his lip. "We can talk it over tonight, okay?"

"Tonight." Miles stared Julian down, wanting to make it clear that he intended for him to follow through on this. "We'll meet at the replimat at 18:00 hours, and we'll talk."

"That's right," Julian confirmed, sounding less nervous now. "I'll meet you there. But for now, I've got other duties to attend to."

"In that case, I'll just be getting back to work, then." Miles slid off the bed, shooting Julian a meaningful glance as he left.

It wasn't until he was halfway back to engineering that he realized that he'd just arranged another date. And he didn't even have anything nice to wear for it.

The replimat wasn't exactly the nicest place a man could take someone on a date. It was where Julian had lunch with Elim, but they hadn't even made their relationship public, so it was fitting that they would eat there rather than going to a proper restaurant.

 _Come now, Julian, stop comparing your experiences with Elim to your experiences with Miles_ , Julian told himself crossly. He valued his relationships with both men equally. And each relationship was unique in its own way.

People were sitting at the tables around Julian, who still sat alone, fidgeting. He was wearing a light blue suit with a gray tie. The outfit was a bit more drab than the colourful things Julian usually wore, but he had gone to Jadzia asking for advice on what to wear and she'd told him something more subdued would be good.

Maybe something else had come up and Miles couldn't make it. Julian checked the time. It was already well past 18:00 hours. Something must have come up. Either that or Miles had stood him up. But this wasn't really a date, was it? It was just a chance for the two men to sit down and talk openly about their feelings. Polyamory or not, suddenly realizing you were in love was complicated, especially when you were already in love with somebody else at the same time.

It was getting later every second. Miles still wasn't there. He was late. Maybe he really wasn't coming. He wouldn't show up. Julian tapped his fingers on the table, chewing his lip nervously.

While he was waiting, maybe he could practice what he would say.

"Good evening, Miles," he murmured under his breath, imagining the Irish engineer sitting across from him. "What a lovely outfit. It really compliments your figure."

No; he wouldn't say that. It would come off as too bold.

"Good evening, Miles," he tried again. "I'm glad you showed up. I was starting to think you weren't coming."

But what would he say about his complicated feelings? That was the whole point of this arrangement, right?

"We've known each other for a long time. It's time for us to take our relationship to the next step."

No, that wasn't right. Julian valued romantic and platonic relationships equally, so "taking it to the next step" wasn't how he should word it. Besides, he couldn't go into this assuming that Miles really felt the same way he did.

"I don't want you to feel the need to choose between me and your family… but if there's any room in your family for an idiot like me, I hope you'll let me fill it." Yes; that sounded about right. Julian would use that line to kick of the conversation. What if Miles said no? What would Julian say then?

"Even if you don't want to have that kind of relationship, I still hope we can be friends. I really value the time we've spent together, and I want to keep-"

"Hold on a minute, Julian. Whoever said anything about just being friends?"

Julian glanced up. His face flushed when he realized that Miles had been standing there, listening to him practice what he was going to say.

"Chief! I thought you weren't coming," Julian said, flustered. "You were almost thirty minutes late."

 _Elim is never late_ , he added inside his head.

"Sorry, Julian," Miles apologized as he sat down at the table. "I was about to leave when Keiko asked me where I was going. I told her we'd made arrangements to eat at the replimat, and she-"

"Did she not want you to see me?" Julian asked, his face falling.

"What? Oh, no, nothing like that," Miles said quickly. "Actually, she was very supportive. She helped me pick out an outfit and everything."

Julian blinked. He wondered if maybe he worried too much. It was a nice outfit that she'd helped pick out, too- a yellow suit and tie with cream-coloured accents. Should he comment on it? Well, since Miles had brought it up, maybe it would be a good idea.

"It's a good outfit. It compliments your figure."

"Well, thanks," said Miles, looking taken aback. "You look nice too."

Julian blushed.

"So, um, about… us." Julian looked down at his plate. "Miles, do you want to be my-" He hesitated. "…Be my boyfriend?"

Miles didn't say anything at first. Julian felt his face heating up and he kept his gaze locked on his food, not wanting to look his friend in the eye.

Julian flinched when Miles, to his surprise, actually started to laugh. Did that mean he was rejecting him? But when he looked up, Miles was gazing at him fondly and smiling, leaning back in his chair.

"The two of us… _boyfriends_ …" Miles was shaking his head in disbelief, but his words didn't sound like a rejection. "Miles O'Brian and Julian Bashir… in love… it sounds insane."

"It's insane, but it's also true," Julian whispered shyly. "Well, at least it's true that I love you. I don't know if you like me. I mean, I know you like me, but I don't know if you _like_ like me… like that."

"Are you kidding? Of course I love you." It was such a casual remark, as if Miles was saying something that should be taken for granted. "I just didn't think you'd want to go out with me when you already had your secret agent lizard lover."

" _Secret agent lizard lover_?!" Julian laughed despite knowing that Elim would probably have been offended by that. He attempted to mimic Elim's seductive voice. "But Miles, he's only a simple tailor."

Miles chortled.

"I'm glad to see you have a sense of humour about it."

They joked and laughed while they ate their food, and Julian almost felt himself forgetting that they'd just confessed to each other moments before. Being with Miles felt so natural, like there was no pretense. And that was the kind of relationship that Julian had secretly wished for ever since he'd realized just how many layers to Elim there really were.

By the time both their plates were empty, they were the only ones left in the replimat. Julian didn't want to leave, but it was getting late, and he knew Miles would want to go back to his quarters soon. He had his wife and daughter waiting for him. Julian didn't want to take away from the time Miles spent with his family.

He told Miles this, and didn't quite get the reaction he'd expected.

"Julian, I already told you I love you." Julian blushed when Miles grabbed his hand and held it for a moment before dropping it away. "You're welcome to come to my quarters with me if you want. You could probably even spend the night."

Julian was flattered, but it didn't seem right.

"I don't think I'm quite ready for that yet," he told him. "Thank you for the offer, though. I might consider taking you up on it in the near future."

"At least let me walk you home," Miles offered. "It's only the gentlemanly thing to do."

"O-okay."

They walked arm in arm back to Julian's quarters. When they arrived at the door, they faced each other. Julian's heart had been pounding all night, and now it felt light it might leap out of his throat.

"Thank you for dinner," he said politely.

"Thank _you_ for being who you are."

Julian smiled softly. He leaned in and kissed Miles. Then he pulled away and walked into his quarters, pausing in the doorway, the automatic doors halfway closed.

"Goodnight," he whispered.

"Goodnight."

The end… for now!


End file.
